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Contrary to what people think, breathing is not legal. It just isn’t illegal. These are the Top Ten Reasons to Legalize Breathing.

 

There are several good reasons to pass a law legalizing breathing.

 

Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Pot

 

 

 

 

1) Like pot and liquor, if you legalize it, it can be taxed.

 

2) People who breath more, use more oxygen and should pay higher taxes. Why should I pay for your Zumba class?

 

3) Legalizing breathing opens the door to regulating farting. Farting is, technically, a rectal exhale. It should be taxed as if it was a person with bad breath standing on their head, to not discriminate against taco lovers and broccoli farmers.

 

Was Trump Abducted by Aliens?

 

4) People will stop using the stupid phrase “Don’t hold your breath.” Now, we’ll have good reasons to hold our breath.

 

5) Breath taxes are a perfect lead in to the new death taxes Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is calling for. The government will take small amounts of money every time you take a breath and when you breathe your last breath, they’ll take what’s left.

 

 

 

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6) You’ll no longer have to listen to those obnoxious sighs every time you prove a liberal is wrong. You sigh, You pay. Simple as that.

7) It would cut back on greenhouse gas emissions as exhaling releases CO2. The national weather service could install camera’s in Antarctica and we cold all hold our breath and watch the glaciers get bigger.

 

8) To avoid the tax people could change their gender to “dead.” This would cut back on the cost of Social Security and Medicare.

 

9) It would reduce population growth as people could no longer afford the heavy breathing that comes with sex. Foreplay would become two-play.

 

10) Finally, because, as stupid as this sounds, it’s nowhere near as stupid as the new Green-deal, being touted by Democrats.

 

I guarantee, death is a lot easier than getting rid of fossil fuels.

About Paul Schwartzmeyer

 

Wealth Taxes Will Destroy America, Blog Post. 

1) It will help relieve the pain of thinking about your college loans.

 

2) It’s the only known drug your parents and grandparents aren’t currently taking.

 

3) The big TAX CUT. You’ll no longer have to pay exorbitant taxes on beer, cigarettes and Tequila.

 

4) You can become a farmer. (Even a guy with a Psychology degree can grow weeds.)

Was Donald Trump Abducted by Aliens? 

 

5) It’s the perfect gift for the guy who has everything.

 

6) Political debates, talk shows and basketball games will start to make sense

(A BOOK YOU’LL LOVE)

 

7) You’ll no longer have that guilt feeling for going off your diet.

8) You’ll no longer have that guilt feeling after having sex with a guy you just met in the parking lot at a Springsteen concert.

 

9) It’ll be easier to pick up girls in the parking lot at a Springsteen concert.

 

10) And finally!! It doesn’t matter anyway, because everybody already smokes pot!!

 

 

(Coming next: The top ten reasons to legalize breathing.)

The question of whether Trump was abducted by aliens may seem strange, but it would fall in line with the other stupid questions congressional democrats are asking.

This would be Paul Trifthauser as a congressman.

Trifthauser: “Mr. Cohen, I have several questions that I believe must be entered into the record that my colleagues have skipped over due to time constraints.

“To the best of your knowledge, has President Trump ever been abducted by aliens?”

Cohen: “I don’t know that, though he did appear several times on the Howard Stern show.”

Trifthauser: “As far as you know, does the President own a Ouija board?”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “You are aware that former First Lady Hillary Clinton had a seance and brought Elanor Roosevelt back from the dead.”

Cohen” I am aware of that, and yes, Hillary’s Ouija board is in the White House. You asked if President Trump had one.”

Trifthauser: “The next questions are to clear up rumors that are circulating around Washington.”

Cohen: “Shoot.”

Trifthauser: “Has the President ever eaten grapes out of a pair of Rosie O’Donnell’s panties?”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “Is he Theodore Roosevelt’s love child?”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “While watching an episode of the Andy Griffith show where Barney was afraid to ask Thelma Lou for a date to the Mount Pilot spring dance, did the President scream, “Come on Barney, grow a pair,” at the TV?

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “So, what you’re saying is the President did not call Barney Fife a coward?”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no, though he did say he’d do Thelma Lou.”  

Trifthauser: “Is there anybody else President Trump say he’d do?”

Cohen: “Yes, there was a long list. June Cleaver, the Little Mermaid, Belle, the Flying Nun, Lara Croft, the Tomb Raider, Olivia Newton-John, the entire Team USA Olympic women’s soccer team and Betty Rubble to name a few.”

Trifthauser: “As far as you know, has he had sex with any of these women?”

Cohen” “Only Betty Rubble.”   

Trifthauser: “As far as you know, Mr. Cohen, has anyone ever performed oral sex on the President in the oval office.”

Cohen: “Besides Sean Hannity?”

Trifthauser: “Well, aside from what is already common knowledge.”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “As far as you know, does the President send out Twitter messages in his underwear.”

Cohen: “As far as I know, no.”

Trifthauser: “One last question, Mr. Cohen. As far as you know, has the President ever had prostitutes give him a golden shower?”

Cohen: “A golden shower?”

Trifthauser: “Yes, that would be where prostitutes urinate on him?”

Cohen: “Besides Hollywood and the staffs of CNN and MSNBC?”

As stupid as these questions may seem, they’re in line with what Congress is asking. Why do we elect people and pay them $170,000 a year to ask stupid questions?

 

 

 

     Will your children be Cyborgs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the fifth book of the series “Joseph Schneider, Traitor-Patriot”, Priya, an Indian orphan and Paul Trifthauser’s adopted daughter says this…

“Father, the last two years there has been a huge ramp-up in activity. Buildings are going up everywhere. Companies are moving in. They’re offering jobs to juniors. It’s crazy.”

 

What she’s talking about is the growth in technology at MIT. She goes on to say this…

 

“This is the area that Dr. Schneider’s puzzles led us to, remember?  It was communications and belief systems. Dr. Primrose and I are mapping language use by tapping cell phone lines.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

She laughed. “Are you kidding? Nothing is illegal here. We have digitized language use, noun and verb use, and linguistic devices and created an algorithm that we use to tell us a person’s socioeconomic status.”

He shrugged. “Can’t you just tell by listening to them?”

Priya smiled. “Of course, but we are mapping by neighborhood. We can use this information to tailor messages to various neighborhoods and to target what fears and motivations someone in that socioeconomic status would likely pay attention to.”

Trifthauser sat back and nodded his head slowly. “And?”

“And, everybody wants this research. We are hounded constantly to go off-site and private. To move away from the University,” she said, dropping her voice. “Things are starting to come together. We’re at the point where the speed of technology and the sophistication of communication devices is aligning with psychology and cognitive science. We are very close to the point where we have almost total control over the minds of anyone with a cell phone.”

 

And finally, she gets to the point. How your children will become cyborgs.

 

“More than that. We would think their thoughts. There would be no need for robots. MIT is trying to create machines that think like people, but they could never match human metabolic function, locomotion, digestion, perception. Our technology simply uses humans to do the same thing. People don’t buy products, we do, we just use people to do it.”

  His eyes widened.

“This knowledge would make us God emperors of the universe. We know precisely what people want to hear, how to phrase it, what nouns, pronouns, verb, adjectives, adverbs and slang and in what order. They literally become robots. Nobody could ever pull chains like we can.”

 

This is not a fantasy. You are not going to be saved by Spiderman or Superman.   

People are becoming slaves to the machine.

It’s happening all around you. This is the world my character, Paul Trifthauser has to navigate and even as his world is fiction, yours isn’t. Your world is very real.

Just look at the media.

They don’t even make a pretense of being honest, open-minded or even rational. They say exactly what you want to hear, the way you expect to hear it and when you can hear it. It’s not news, it’s science.

“Father,” she said squeezing his hand. “I work in the most advanced cog lab in the world. Almost all the CIA’s black ops, nano, mind control, the whole thing originates within five miles of where we’re sitting.

 

This is the technology that will turn your children into cyborgs.

By the way, if you think the US government is controlling this, think again. The vast majority of the space is controlled by China, Russia, and Saudi Arabia. They control the news, the think tanks, the “fact check” organizations, many of the NGO’s (another novel on NGO’s is here) as well as many if not most of the web traffic.

 

In the future, there will be no need for robots. People will do the job. The only question is…

 

Will this generation of Cyborgs be your kids?

 

For further interesting reading, check out the links below.

The Argumentative Theory, Hugo Murcier, Edge.org

Kyle Bass, Hayman Capital Twitter feed. 

Belief Systems, Paul Schwartzmeyer, Blog Post